Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is the American mobile phone number format?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are the main issues that have historically and currently divided Republicans and Democrats?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Can I know a love story of a medical student?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

President Trump kicked Zelensky out of the White House. Is it over for a deal?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Who is the most annoying character in the Office?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

I can count

Why is it difficult to get a job?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Do flat Earthers really exist? Why do they believe the Earth is flat?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How might an Indian girl respond to someone saying "I love you"?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fakery

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”